I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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