the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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