Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
