What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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