i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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