I cockslap morals
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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