I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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