just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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