O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he fucked my hip out of place.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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