this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
