You can't special order awesome
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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