Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
