just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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