Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
