I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
