I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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