so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
