just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.