my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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