I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
