Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
