Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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