Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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