is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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