Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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