I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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