you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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