is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize