if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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