CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
