im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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