Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
