Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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