I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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