that's an acceptable place to lick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
