i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
