Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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