it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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