Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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