OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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