oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
