he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
