they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
