Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
