bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
