I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
