I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
