Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want a musical about memes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
