Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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