Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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