Do you still have your period?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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