i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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