Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
