I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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