I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
