Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
