craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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