Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize