I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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