took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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