Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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