I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
