I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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