oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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