YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
