I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
