u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
