ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
