I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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