chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
