where am i from again
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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